February 2012
7 posts
5 tags
Feb 26th
1 note
4 tags
Feb 18th
1 note
6 tags
Feb 15th
4 notes
7 tags
Feb 10th
3 notes
6 tags
Feb 10th
3 notes
Feb 9th
13 notes
Feb 8th
115 notes
January 2012
5 posts
3 tags
Jan 19th
12 tags
MARK MY WORDS: Someday Helena Bonham Carter will play Trisha Addams in a Tim Burton remake of The Addams Family. That day will mark the End of the World.
Jan 18th
5 notes
4 tags
Ode to Icepack
Oh, Icepack. You are so fine. How well you can numb my spine. I’ll lay on you until nine. Icepack, Icepack, please be mine.
Jan 17th
10 notes
4 tags
Jan 15th
5 notes
5 tags
Jan 6th
39 notes
December 2011
5 posts
4 tags
I named my wifi “TheDarkSide” so whenever I boot up it says “You have joined TheDarkSide.”
Dec 31st
1 tag
“I love watching old movies using outdated computer technology as part of the...”
Dec 29th
8 tags
Dec 26th
31 notes
6 tags
Three of my surrounding neighbors are playing loud hiphop, so I’m countering it with the Inception soundtrack at full volume. da da DA DA da da DA DA Bwaaaahhhhhmm. Bwaaaaahhhmm.
Dec 24th
5 tags
Dec 4th
3 notes
November 2011
6 posts
10 tags
Nov 30th
10 tags
Nov 28th
8 notes
3 tags
“Mr. M wondered why the neighbors seemed louder with his headphones on, then he...”
– My Big Book of Fake Serial Dramas
Nov 19th
3 tags
WatchWatch
Here I destroy a sculpture I made years ago based on Escher’s Self Portrait in a Reflecting Sphere. Sometimes I destroy works that I don’t have room for or don’t reflect what I want people to think I do. This is one of them.
Nov 14th
5 tags
Just had a dream where I was watching EVIL DEAD 4. They called it Exit Dead Right. This time Bruce Campbell was an agitated semi truck driver for S-Mart and was killing Deadites while yelling, “EAT LEAD YOU TWILIGHT MOTHER FU—ERS!!”
Nov 12th
4 tags
Nov 12th
October 2011
12 posts
4 tags
Oct 27th
3 tags
Being a Graphic Designer means having to live with the guilt of enlarging a 1MB image to print 80 inches wide.
Oct 26th
5 tags
Oct 25th
5 tags
Oct 22nd
8 tags
Oct 16th
5 tags
Oct 14th
4 notes
6 tags
Oct 12th
5 tags
Oct 10th
4 tags
Oct 9th
24 notes
2 tags
I’m waiting for all my Apple products to start glowing and then promptly implode on themselves. Nothing yet.
Oct 6th
6 tags
Oct 5th
12 notes
6 tags
Oct 2nd
September 2011
15 posts
2 tags
Sep 26th
3 tags
I can actually FEEL when my wifi is turned on. Which leads me to believe that my router may be too good for my apartment.
Sep 22nd
6 tags
If you really think about it, INDEPENDENCE DAY is just STAR WARS with Randy Quaid as Luke Skywalker.
Sep 19th
4 tags
So now Greedo and Han shoot at the SAME TIME?! PICK ONE LUCAS! I bet the next time Star Wars comes out on a new format there will be a SECOND SHOOTER ON A GRASSY KNOLL.
Sep 18th
3 tags
Now I get to use the special “Store Pickup” parking spot at Best Buy. FANCY. That’s closer to the store than the “Women who are Pregnant or Nursing” spot.
Sep 17th
4 tags
Sep 17th
6 tags
Sep 14th
4 tags
Sep 13th
3 tags
Sep 11th
3 tags
Diet caffeine-free Mountain Dew is a drinkable contradiction.
Sep 11th
5 tags
Sep 9th
2 tags
I like having a president that I can listen to on the radio for non-comedic purposes.
Sep 9th
3 notes
2 tags
ADHD is like listening to your favorite song all day and then realizing that your headphones were never plugged in.
Sep 7th
4 tags
Sep 6th
3 tags
WatchWatch
It really does.
Sep 2nd